What Do I Actually Eat
The question that everyone around me seems to constantly ask. I’ll admit, I don’t eat much, I never have. Since birth, I’ve technically been a pollotarian but I say technically because it’s not something I do intentionally.
I feel like every one of my blog posts can be destroyed with the question “who cares”, this one is the epitome of that.
The Situation
I have a lot of food allergies. I’m allergic to eggs, nuts, fruit seeds, and all seafood (including shellfish). I also don’t eat red meat or pork. Not for any religious or health reasons, I just think they’re kinda gross and they’ve just never seemed appealing to me. So the only meats I eat are chicken and turkey. I also eat a lot of vegetables and pasta.
Because of the egg allergy, I don’t eat cake or cupcakes (birthdays can be tricky) but for whatever reason cookies are manageable. They still can occasionally make my throat pretty itchy but it’s honestly so worth it. As long as I only have like one a day I’m fine.
I’m a big fan of salads however I have to be careful. Unbeknownst to most, Caesar dressing is usually made with anchovies which are a big no-go. Also, a lot of dressings love to sneak in nuts.
Mayonnaise can make my throat hurt if I eat enough of it but most mayo (especially the lower-quality store-bought stuff) doesn’t use real eggs so it’s okay. I usually just don’t order mayo at nice restaurants to make sure I never get the real stuff.
What about ice cream? Strawberries (or any other fruits) are off the table. I don’t know how I haven’t mentioned this yet but I don’t really like chocolate. I’ve warmed up to it as I’ve gotten older (I like ice cream sand witches and Oreos) but I still find it way too overpowering to eat on its own. Chocolate bars on their own taste way too strong for me to enjoy. So I don’t like chocolate ice cream. Mint ice cream is just frozen toothpaste, I don’t understand how anyone eats that shit. Vanilla bean makes my throat hurt enough for me to avoid it (vanilla bean is a fruit and the whole fruit seed thing). But French vanilla. French Vanilla? My first love. My baby. My twin flame. I love me some French vanilla ice cream. The biggest injustice in mankind ever is the prevalence, propagation, and proliferation of vanilla bean over French vanilla in society. I love, LOVE, going to small boutique ice cream shops and nothing pains me more than seeing a tub full of vanilla bean with no French vanilla in sight.
It seriously is getting to the point where I’m going to start naming names, tagging toes, and leaving Yelp reviews
That’s it. That’s all I eat and even more of what I don’t. Funny enough I love trying new restaurants. If you ever want some great recommendations for chicken spots I’m your guy.